My whole personality is a myriad of paradoxes. What type of person am I?

You've just described me. It's easy once you know what's wrong with you, but when I was younger I couldn't describe it. I saw a psychiatrist for a few months and that seemed to help me to some extent, but really you have to look deep inside yourself and figure out what you really want to be. It's definitely hard, but you've identified the problems; now just work on them.